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Aug.6,2011How many horses does it take to change a light bulb?…
Any foal: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?
Shetland pony: I can’t reach the stupid lamp.
Appaloosa: No, don’t change it. If it’s dark, maybe no one will see me raiding the feed room.
Andalusian: Let the maid do it. I need to go roll in the mud.
Clydesdale: Och, and ye’ll just be usin’ up the ‘lectricity, ye’ will, better tae use a wee bit of candle…better yet tae not waste either and just gae tae sleep when the sun gaes doon. Electiricity is verra dear.
Tennessee Walker: (Hiccup) You’re doing it all wrong (hiccup)! You have to use all four feet!
Mustang: Lightbulb? Let’s go on a trail ride, instead. And camp. Out in the open like REAL horses.
Cleveland Bay: I’m busy. Make the whipper-in and the hounds do it.
Paint: Put all the lightbulbs in a pen, tell me which one you want, and my owner will bet you twenty bucks I can get it before the quarter horse.
The world’s most incredibly lazy man found a magic lamp.
He rubbed it and a genie appeared and granted him three wishes.
He wished for a horse, a sumo wrestler and a squirrel.
“They’re yours, but what are they for?” the genie asked.
“I’m tired of walking everywhere — I want to just ride the horse. The sumo wrestler is so that I won’t have to work to get on the horse.”
“But the squirrel?” asked the genie.
“I need something to go ‘click-click’ to start the horse!!!”
Subject: ATTN: New Virus!!!!
This is a warning!
Please be aware that there is a new version of an old virus circulating called “Horse_Crazy_11.” Upon receiving this virus your computer will automatically create new system files that will detect when you are online and download pictures of horses to your hard drive. It will replace your current wallpaper with horse pictures, fill up your online bookmarks/favorites menu with Horsemall links and change your sound scheme to “barn noises.” It will automatically create a biological agent and place it in your barn…Requiring you to constently check for new bundles.
There is no proven time table for this virus. Symptoms could appear at any time upon its reception. Once it has installed the biological agent in your barn – it cannot be removed. REPEAT… THIS VIRUS CANNOT BE REMOVED!!
It is insidious and clever – it will work its way into your sentiments and you will never be able to get rid of it…
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